For one month and one day I have neglected my blog, but no more, my friends, no more. Today the malnourished blog is released from captivity and is free to frolick in cyber pastures.
So what has been keeping me from my blog? Work? Adventure? Derring-do? No, nothing so glamourous or exciting.
The culprit of this blog-abuse was General Apathy. Yes, an Apathy so very, very General that even my blog, that otherwise abundant source of Procrastination, suffered. This Apathy was no depression or sadness, don't worry; I simply had no desire to do....well....anything. So there you have it folks, that is my explanation. And if you think this is a lackluster explanation, I will refer you to the title of this blog: A Biased, Myopic Account of MUNDANE Events.
Well. My absence somewhat explained, I shall move on.
TOPIC THE FIRST: Monkeys, Nuts, and Water
So, apparently, members of a stoneage tribe that lives in the Colombian rainforest, the Nukak-Makú, emerged recently in a jungle-border-town wanting to join the 21st century.
The New York Times article goes into why they left the jungle and what the implications of that may be--but I do not address this because, as my blog title indicates, my stories are intended to be MYOPIC. The article explains that the Nukak-Makú appreciate many things about modern living: pots, pants, shoes, caps, rice, sugar, oil, flour, skillets, eggs, onions, matches, soap, and one man wisely exclaimed, "I like the women very much". One Nukak-Makú woman said she was "happy just to stay still. 'When you walk in the jungle,' she said, 'your feet hurt a lot'". At the moment, the Nukak-Makú are in a sort of make-shift IDP camp set up near a small town, but they are looking for a place to settle. The article explains their criteria for selecting a new home: "'They will look to see if there are nuts, monkeys, and water,' said Ms. Rodríguez, the town official."
...A stoneage tribe emerges from the forest clamouring for the trappings of modern life... Does this make you feel sad? It makes me sad. Yes, I'm sure their feet hurt a lot and that their life is a difficult one filled with endless toil merely to survive. And I can absolutely understand that they might see a skillet and think, "now, why in the hell didn't we ever think of that!" Our lives
are easier in so very many respects. But what they, perhaps, do not realize is that modern human life is so easy and so little work, that it's left us sad...little...and empty.
Maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, but think about this: why do people go camping or fishing or hunting? It's not out of necessity (no matter what hunters tell you), it's an escape; an escape from modernity into antiquity. When you are camping, unless you're one of those hopelessly "connected" people, you aren't worried about missing Mansbridge on the National, or about whether you got your weekly American Airlines mileage summary (which is always disappointing anyway, no?) in your email. Why do you temporarily forget these things? Well, becuase you've got to put up the tent, find wood, chop it, stack it, burn it, cook food, and (amidst all this activity) chat with the people with whom you are camping. So, you are too busy surviving and communing with nature and your fellow humans to worry about superfluous, non-essential things (like the E-True-Hollywood story of Denise Richards). Doing these things centers us, reminds us about the fundamental components of life, reminds us about what we
really truly need in life. Now, I fully realize that some people might accuse me of describing the
noble savage and all the problems that come with that--but rest assured I'm not. However, I do think it's sad that the few groups of people in the world who are living the kind of life that we all miss, in one way or another, are disappearing.
Is this post overly nostalgic? Yes. Is it myopic? Absolutely.
TOPIC THE SECOND: DEAD CUTE
Another
New York Times article describes the rising cost and popularity of quinceañeras. Being a Latina, I was exposed to this freakish tradition since childhood (and yes, I did always find it to be freakish). For those who are unfamiliar with the practice, I shall describe it: Latin girls come of age at their fifteenth birthday. To mark and symbolically represent this transition into womanhood (and, therefore, marriagability) a big party is held. Traditionally, before the party there is a mass in which the girl wears a white dress and receives a ring. There are very few differences between a quinceañera mass and a wedding mass--the obvious difference is the lack of a groom, but I digress. Following the full (three hour) mass there is a party in which the young woman is followed by what looks eerily like a bridal party (seven or eight pairs of boys and girls in tuxedos and ballgowns). The girl then dances a waltz with her father, who then passes her on to her "escort" (a boyfriend...the connection is obvious, no?) with whom she usually also waltzes. Then the faux-bridal-party join in the waltz as well. There are a myriad of traditions, which I shan't bore you with--it sufices to say that they exist and that I, personally, find them all to be distastefully antiquated.
Not that you could ever forget from all the obvious parallels and symbolism, but (as I've mentioned) quinceañeras are a sign that a girl is ready for marriage. I am completely aware of the historic place of this tradition and that in other times, fifteen was "old enough". However, it seems to me that this practice has lost its function in society as it is no longer considered an appropriate age for matrimony (see the legal age for marriage in, I would wager, most countries in this hemisphere). When I was a girl, the thought of a quinceañera freaked me out. It seemed monstrous to say that I was a "woman" when I knew I was no where near it. So, when my parents started asking if I wanted to have a quinceañera, I told them to take their money, buy me a plane ticket, and send me somewhere interesting as sign of my "womanhood." I left the fake-wedding to more materialistic or, perhaps, easily-influenced girls.
But, I did "stand" at someone's quinceañera. A friend of mine from highschool had a somewhat elaborate party (she wore two dresses, as I recall), a banquet, and a dance...nothing as obscenely excessive as what is described in the NYTimes article, but it still struck me as unnerving.
Now, I must explain that I am not a person who reveres tradition for tradition's sake. To me, if the function of that tradition no longer applies, why continue doing it? If young girls no longer need to be "introduced" into society as "marriagable"--why have a quinceañera? I'll tell you why...because it's "fun" to be a "princess" and for everything to be "dead cute". At least that's what I gleaned from the article. This is fine, I suppose, for some people, especially if it makes them happy. But here's the thing....I don't believe these sorts of things have the power to make anyone (at all) truly happy. They are spaceholders to make one's life seem less empty--the things that make us truly happy in life cannot be wrapped in tulle.
In an attempt to be balanced, I thought, for a brief moment, that maybe the sort of girl that becomes a Bridal Beast (yes, I'm refusing to use the once clever, now aged and arthritic term: Bridezilla) might actually benefit from having a lavish, pompous quinceañera. I thought it might placate her desire for attention and "dead cuteness" for the next ten years. But then I realized that when this demi-bridal-beast became a full Bridal Beast she would certainly require something more elaborate and poofy than her quinceañera. So, I'm sorry to say that I cannot see a way around a now meaningless tradition that wantonly indulges in consumerism, materialism, and the premature fulfillment of gender roles.
This is, I admit, a biased rant. Some of you may disagree. Perhaps you think I too quickly dismiss things and am, simply, too rebelious to understand them. But in that case, I would, again, refer you to the title of this blog, which quite clearly disavows any attempts at balanced reporting.
So there you have it folks. From the bottom up: a biased, myopic account of mundane events. Hope you enjoyed it.
