Say So Long to a Sense of Civic Duty

During the summer months, I frequently stroll across the Victoria street bridge, which has been, since my arrival in Saskatoon, the subject of many a controversy. This, the first bridge to unite the city of Saskatoon with Nutana, was purported to be structurally unsafe and was closed to vehicle traffic for an entire year. There was some discussion about tearing it down, but this was decided against due to its historical value. Instead, the city decided to repair the bridge at great expense eventhough these repairs are only a temporary solution.

This newly refurbished bridge has, once again, been in the news as its name has been called into question. Apparently it doesn't have an official name; some call it the Victoria street bridge, some call it the Traffic Bridge, some just call it "that rickety old bridge that I hate to drive across." Consequently, the city set out to name this bridge.

This is where I come into the story.

One fine afternoon, which I'm sure was fine despite the January winter because my apartment is rather warm all year round (that was a useless bit of information and, for that, I apologize), I had the opportunity to overhear a startling bit of news on the television. It appeared that some city council member, who touts himself as an expert in the city's history, wished to officially name the bridge: "The Traffic Bridge."

Reader, I was horrified. I realize that the bridge was first known by this name to residents of the area, but, dear god, not all that is old (traditional) is good!

I asked myself, "Is there a kind of bridge that is NOT for some kind of traffic?" What a ridiculously redundant, and, therefore, boring, name for a bridge!

Well, this led me to my first and, quite possibly, last foray into city politics: I wrote a letter to City Council. Yes, it's true. I wrote to them to let them know of my displeasure with such an insipid name. Furthermore, I suggested what I thought were two (better) names:

1. Union Bridge
2. Unity Bridge

Either name struck me as more clearly expressing the role this bridge played in the history of the city of Saskatoon AND of sounding nicer than "traffic bridge."

I was assured that my letter would be read and that I would receive notice of the council's decision. Of course, like many of you, I have already learned from the news that the council stuck with "Traffic Bridge." But today I received the aforementioned "notice" of the action taken by the council. It was rather disappointing. I thought I might receive some explanation of why they chose such a monotonous name, but instead I received a list of four motions passed by the council on January 22nd, one of which was, of course, the wretched naming of the bridge.

The moral of the story is that boring, unimaginative people run for city council and that I should refrain from poking my nose and vocabulary where it shant be appreciated.

**I apologize for the excessive use of commas; I have been reading Henry James. Sigh.

Sigh. Losing My Mind.

Yesterday I put the tub of margarine on a hot burner. It melted the entire bottom of the tub. There was margarine everywhere.

Then today, in accordance with my continued hair obsession, I got a haircut. It's lovely, I quite like it. And I liked my hairdresser (for once). We bonded over an in-depth discussion of burritos--where to find them and how to fill them.

After my haircut , I left the salon feeling bouncy and new, so I made my way to the Roastery where L and I were supposed to meet for coffee.

I entered the coffee house and took a seat by the door since I was 30 mins early for my date. I sat for fifteen minutes pretending to work on my thesis, but mostly playing with my new hair. Then I had to use the loo and since I wasn't expecting L for another quarter of an hour, I made my way to the w.c. Afterwards, I returned to my seat and continued to wait.

I waited, reader, for another 20 mins. and then started to get a bit worried. I began watching the door more intently. Craning my neck to see who was approaching.

After 45 minutes, I began to feel a bit self-conscious...I was sure everyone around me could tell that I was waiting for someone and that that someone was not appearing.

At about this time I started to be uncomfortably reminded of the short movie L and I made with our CBC friend about a blind date that doesn't work out because the people never find each other.

After an hour and a half of waiting I decided to go home. Slightly embarrased. And rather puzzled regarding L's fate: was he dead? had our landlady cornered him about testing the smoke alarm? did he forget our date? was he still at home?

I arrived at home and less than five minutes later L arrived.

He'd arrived at the Roastery while I was in the bathroom and had sat in the one part of the coffee house I could not see.

All in all, it turned out okay. I made a hazelnut capuccino at home which was much yummier and cheaper than at the Roastery.

But this ordeal has made me think that maybe....maybe we do need cell phones?

Welcome, Here are 105 Facts About Me. Learn them well. The test is next tuesday.

I'm not going to make some excuse about how bored I was when I took this survey and how bored you must be to read through it. Let's just be honest. I am procrastinating--not bored--and I'm sure you will be entertained enough not to begin writing the next paragraph in that long series of paragraphs otherwise known as Your Thesis. So thank you for reading and you thank me for writing and let's all start the healing. Because being honest about our problems is the first step.


1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? That's so antiquated. I buy my own diamonds.

2. FAVORITE FLAVOR OF GUM? Spearamint.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? A donut from Lindell.

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? Yeah. Okay, actually this is a SOMEWHAT interesting story. It was during an electrical storm and I was walking nervously across a parking lot holding an umbrella in one hand and a cell phone in the other. A bolt of lightning hit somewhere nearby; I threw my phone and umbrella as far as I could, and myself on the ground. Car alarms were blaring. After I collected myself, I picked up my phone and it still worked.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? Yoga last Friday as usual.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? school, my hair, trips

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? Lindell's soup concoction. tasty.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? whether they can chew with their damn mouth shut. bastards.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? You know that one song: pum pum PUM, pum pum PUM pum, pum pum pum, PUM PUM. It's so 80s. Actually I hate that one.

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 481.78 meters above sea level;
52 deg. 7' 54" North, 106 deg. 39' 9" W

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTEND(ed): Escola Americana de Brasilia and Antonian College Prep.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: I am free from that torture.

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: honestly? I guess I shop a lot at Suzy Shier. I admit it.

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: That's on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? No. I use coins to decide my fate.

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: No. I blog instead.

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: besides mine?

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: Lindell.

19. LAST TIME YOU HUNG OUT WITH A FRIEND: today.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: wendy's

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD: "An E.R. you won't want to miss!" It's always missable. Always.

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?:
my house.

24. CAN YOU COOK?: Most certainly and raaaaather well, if I do say so myself.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: We call him Patchy (for obvious reasons).

26. BEST KISSER: me of course. you can ask around. it's true.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED? i cry everyday. Nervous breakdowns are part of grad studies. It's in the handbook. There are rules.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS: fish. and certain creamy substances. and things that don't have paprika on them. that's one of my fave. spices.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: I have no problems staying in doors for several days, possibly even weeks, on end without losing my marbles. More than not having a problem, I rather enjoy it. But that's a sad thing to like about yourself. So, I like that I'm lively.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: Sometimes I talk too much. And I can't hide my emotions.

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?: 8 hours I work to live, not the other way around so....I tend to go home right away.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE? Ahhhh...it was one of those literature ones, with lots of puns, and wigs, and people staring intently at each other, and some magical realism thrown in, and also a good car chase, with a cute guy, and a girl that's not too skinny to menstruate, and that makes fun of George Bush. God, what was it called??!! I can't remember, but it was awesome.

34. CAN YOU SING? yeeeees. If you want to call it "singing".

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? teagan and sara.

36. LAST KISS? today.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: i don't remember. really. i've been hitting the cinema instead. Have you seen The Fountain? Warning: Do not drop acid before seeing this movie.

38. ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: lip balm.

39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT: i haven't found my favorite spot yet. guess I'll just have to keep looking. darn.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: I'm a girl on the go, so laptop it is.

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN? the dudes from Peep Show.

45. DO YOU SMOKE?: no. I've tried. it's awful.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?: with. always with.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: lindell.

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
I'm gonna go with...nnnn....yyyyyy.....nnnyeeee---NO. Just no. How is this still a question?

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?: 3

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? french toast. mmm.

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: no...I'm just addicted. it's destroying my life.

52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Scrambled with mote (hominy) and some dill. Or in omlette form with tomatoes and green onions.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: Somewhat. It's interesting how accurate it can be, but I only ever read it at the end of the day so that I don't make decisions based on it. That actually makes the accuracy more interestsing.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: mum.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: Canadian Tire.

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED? I don't have that.

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: I sleep with one, but have like 3 on the bed for reading

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: yoga pants and shirt.

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC: hold on, let me ask the ipod: "ya no me asombra nada, nada"

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?: orange marm. or grape.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: yes and the drunker I am, the better I play.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?: yup.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: i don't like berry ones, chocolate ones are good if they've got nuts, citrus ones are nice.

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? yes. I am a map master. Any kind of map, I can conquer. I also like a compass.

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I have a fetish for men's ties.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: yes. I threw a Summer Solstice/Full Moon/Pagan/Belated Birthday party in which everyone had to dress as their fave. pagan, and there was a stonehenge madenout of rice krispie squares (complete with gummy bear orgies and sacrifices).

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: Spring or Fall. Not too hot, not too cold. Tepid. Mild. That's me. I dislike extremes.

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?: today.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?: 7:45am.

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: snow boarding, skating, curling, staying home wrapped in a blanket and being perfectly justified in doing so.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: hmmm 3 or 4 years ago.

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: Amanda, he was a Spaniel. Yes I gave a boy dog a girl's name.

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: cool. one of my neighbors has a vanity license plate that reads "PARHAR".....I don't know what it means, but I like to read it like a pirate. paaaarrrrhaaarrr.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?: finishing my painting of a pear-like object.

78. BIRTHDAY: may 28

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: happy. too cheesy? fine. I want to be...less of a dork.

87. ARE YOU SMILING?: yes.

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: sure. why not.

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?: Russia or Thailand.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: hee hee hee. Yes. Yes I am. What? don't I look young enough?! damn you!

93. DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?: Technically, no.

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?: Rick Dickulous.

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: I haven't worn one in so SOOOOOO long. the bottoms be black, and de top be grreen strrrripes.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: September.

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: Yes. See posts below.

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: Does a harbor cruise count?

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?: No, a brother.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: 4th floor

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: sure.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A HOSPITAL?: yes. I've been inside several hospitals. (badly worded question)

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?: Another badly worded one. What, I can't distinguish shapes? Would I like to see anyone "in" particular? Yes, I'd like to see whoever wrote these questions so I could beat them with my grammar and usage books...of which there are many.

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?: ring

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?: sleep.

Schoool's Out For Blizzard (to the tune of Alice Cooper, if you please)

Days from now, Saskatoon city officials break down the door of apartment No. 40 to discover two bodies huddled together in a rather futile attempt to stave off their blizzardy death. Near the bodies they find this note on the back their last Snickers wrapper:

Before cabin fever set in (redrum redrum redrum) we had a lovely time reading books all curled up, drinking gingerbread cappucinos, and chatting online with friends in warmer climes to whom we boasted of our adventure. (redrum)

But then it happened, dementia set in. Soon we fell silent, sat near windows and tried to remember what the sun looked like...to no avail. (redrum) We fell into a kind of stupor. And then--THEN--we ran out of chocolate.

We wouldn't like our families to know how we fared during those last moments of chocolate withdrawl. It was not pretty. (REDRUM REDRUM) In a fleeting moment of lucidity we decided to write this note so that others may learn our hard lesson:

Always...Always have chocolate on hand.

________________________________________________________________


P.S.-- In all seriousness now, I'm trying to determine how many years it has been since the U of S closed due to inclement weather? Lindell and I can only go back ten years, so if anyone can go farther back in time it would be interesting to actually figure this out.

Here's a photo taken by L on our street.

Musings on Memphis

It's funny how airports pander to the most obvious stereotypes of their host cities. The Memphis airport, for example, is studded with souvenier shops specializing in Elvis, Blues, and BBQ. Moreover, every third business in the airport is a "Ribs" restaurant, which has the effect of blanketing the ENTIRE airport in the smell of pork products (whether it's bacon, ham, or ribs I couldn't tell you, but whatever it was it was pungent). You'd think that was a good thing, but all good things in excess are quite stinky.

The one interesting thing in the Memphis airport was the use of bathrooms as tornado shelters! So I took a picture: