Alley Urinaction 11:50 pm

For once, L's watchdog habit--the one that sends him rushing to the windows, ready to pounce at the slightest noise--paid off.

L, his brother K (hi K!), and I were gathered round our TV watching CTV news (specifically, the sports anchor's floppy ears) when L suddenly went stiff, listened for a moment, then hurried to the window.

"Holy Shit!" he shouted, "some chicks are peeing!"

They say when something terrible happens to you there are five stages
through which you pass: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

When first I heard that girls were peeing in my parking lot, I didn't believe it. Then I saw them squatting in our extremely well lit lot, which really pissed me off (no pun intended). Then I thought, God, if you erase my memory, I promise to devote myself to knitting a scarf for Jesus. Then I wondered what the world was comming to--how could these girls be so stupid as to pee in such a well lit area when it is quite illegal in our great city? Why didn't they seek out a dark, leafy spot? Finally, I accepted their stupidity, opened the window, and yelled:

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!!"

The girls ran, and I had some closure.


True story.