Six Things I Just Don't "Get" (This title is simple and to the point. At least it was until I added this bit. Hey! I should add verbosity to my list!)

David Hutton (interestingly, his name means mother fucker in Swahili) has challenged me to list five things that people in my circle of friends or peer group are wild about, but that I can’t really understand the fuss over. But, since I am a rebel through and through, I have listed SIX, not FIVE. Take that.

1. Uninformed, band-wagon hating: Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about the current US government, but if you’re just going to hate it because it seems cool to hate it, without having any sense of history, or any understanding of the country, or without having ever even lived there—just do us all a favor and limit your comments to celebrity gossip. Let me just ask you all this: are there any perfect countries? I mean, in the history of humanity, is there any nation or kingdom or land that you can point to as the paragon of human justice and morality? NO. So stop judging an entire country by what its inept politicians do, lest you be judged according to Stephen Harper’s latest attempt to “improve” the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, honey. Don’t be no hatah, be a love makah.

2. Car love: No, not car lovin’, which I can get behind, but people who love cars. They are just machines, intended to transport you from one location to another. Do we write elegies to mules or oxen? No. So why are we gushing over the Camaro LS 5000? It’s merely an inefficient workhorse (you couldn’t even fit all your groceries in one of those things).

3. Celebrity gossip on the news: This one should speak for itself. Why CTV has a 5min segment on Charles and Camila’s visit to the U.S., I cannot tell you. Did anything happen during this visit? No, not so much as one drunken streaking. I don’t know why they bothered.

4. Weddings: I am not referring to marriage here, just to be clear. It’s the ten-thousand dollar wedding I object to. Can you imagine what kind of a honeymoon you could have with that many bones? Duuuuude.

5. People who don’t have a TV: What’s the only thing worse than a hippie? A luddite. (haha, just kidding luddite friends! Please don’t beat me with clubs or stones you found on the ground that have not been carved or shaped in any way by humans?!)

6. Vitamins: If you aren’t getting all the vitamins and minerals you need from your diet…maybe you should change your diet? Unless you have some kind of illness that requires additional vitamin intake, I really don’t see the point. Plus they’re expensive. I’d rather spend my money on something I can actually use: shoes.


I challenge Kate and Lyla (the only other bloggers I know who haven't already made a list). Since tradition requires that I challenge a third person, I shall issue this double challenge to Lindell: not only must you create a list, but you must also create your own blog. I truly am evil--he'll never finish his thesis now! mua ha ha.