Thoughts on the Eve of Canada Day

In a few hours my trusty companion, L, and I shall embark upon a great journey to the Canadian land of milk and honey (Albertastan). We are taking part in a celebration the locals call: [Can-AAA-da D-AAA-y] Canada Day.

As this fledgling nation celebrates its autonomy.... no, that's wrong...it's independence...ummm...no. Hmmm, how to word it?

As this fledgling nation celebrates its identity...

GOD, this is difficult.

Okay, okay, I've got it now. Here goes:

As this fledgling nation celebrates itself, I can't help but think of the celebrations that will take place only a few hundred miles south during the same week.

There's something odd about being an American in Canada. Although we are neighboring tribes, with a great many things in common, we are very different nations. And although one is frequently painted as the evil twin -- who you thought was in Omaha, but really she's been hereposing as you: dating your boyfriend and even taking part in surgeries when you were absent (okay, too much General Hospital for me)--really, neither of the two nations is all it's cracked up to be.

It's like both Canada and the US are adolescents who've latched on to a skater clique (or the Debate team...whatever clique you most identify with), but can't possibly pull it off all the time, because no matter how cool you look in your skater shorts and with your dyed hair, you still have to go to the store with mum sometimes to pick up some milk.

So what I'm getting at is this: boo one country this century, you'll boo another in the next. Nothing really ever changes, someone is always going to be the "bad guy," someone is going to be the self-righteous prick, and someone is going to be the goody-goody who whores it up on weekends.

So, on this the eve of my Canada Day extravaganza (which I'm very excited about, for the record--I've even learned the national anthem!) I say to my fellow loud Americans:

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!