Lost (also probably copyrighted)

On Sunday morning, after breakfast, of course, God went to his office. Like most of us He has a hard time getting started in the morning, so he spent several hours cleaning his desk (since He read that the average office desk has more germs than a public toilet He’s been quite adamant about disinfecting his work surface). Once his desk was cleaned and organized he decided to catch up on the news and reply to some old e-mail. Pretty soon it was lunch. In the afternoon He chatted with His cubicle-mate, Lucifer, about how much paper they waste every day. Then they made paper airplanes until it was time for a coffee break. But God decided that the coffee from machine in the snack room wouldn’t do on a non-day like this, so He and Lucifer decided to walk to Tim Horton’s. It was mid-afternoon, one of Timmy Ho’s busiest hours, so it took over an hour to get their coffee, choose a donut, eat, drink, and walk back to the office. The point is that by the time they got back to the office it was practically time to go home, so the two cubicle mates quietly packed their bags and snuck down the backstairs, hopping against hope not to run into the Boss.

We've all had days like this, but while God was off cleaning things, checking e-mails, getting coffee, etc., thousands of people in Regina, Saskatchewan suffered under torrential wind and rain at the Roughrider-Hamilton game. Sadly, this was not the only disaster that resulted from God's blah day.

As L and I were leaving Regina toward Saskatoon, we accidentally got on the wrong road. We drove north for three hours without a map and saw no people or any sign of people. Finally, we saw an ice cream shop that seemed to be open (only in SK: gas station--closed; ice cream shop--open all night). The ice cream man gave us some vague directions that were even more confusing because he kept talking about some place called "Satou". It took me a few minutes to decipher his meaning: "Satou" is "S'toon," which is short for "Saskatoon" (because those extra two syllables are quite taxing).

So we kept driving farther north (we were on the 6, for those of you who care about those details) into the blackest, loneliest night I’ve seen. The moon was orange, not quite full, but very low on the horizon. I saw a bright blue shooting star. And then, I saw the Northern Lights; yes, I saw the Aurora Borealis! This was on my list of things to do before I die and I never really thought I’d get to see it. For those of you that haven’t seen it, I can describe it as colorful smoke, or the first drop of food coloring in a clear glass of water. The color was a fluorescent green. And it moves slowly and gracefully like a fish in calm water.

In short, it was an interesting side trip and we got home safely (no thanks to God!), or else I wouldn’t be writing this, now would I?

P.S. Hope none of you are religious. If so, I’m sorry (for you). That was too much, wasn’t it? Sigh. I’m going to hell.